please tell me if i'm home and in my bed
negative
come find me please
I'm naming my child veloci raptor. And you can be a part of its life if you want. But that's its name. Cause i have the vagina.
I was high enough to understand and function with 'flip' while playing brick breaker
Damn. I don't think I could ever be that high.
Moral of the story: don't get pregs or your chances in the beer league are over
Dude, didn't you know? Its balls out wednesday.
Have you asked your drug dealer if he wants to see harry potter with you?
You can't break up with me and ask me for a handjob on the same day. At least not in that order.
Pants-less sunday? Also I'm high and independence day is making me cry
im coming over
I just realized the only way to play Edward forty-hands is commando in a skirt. This intelligence kick is really doing me justice.
Dude she said she'd let me snort a line off her ass now I just have to wait for them to break up
multitasking: i'm now sitting up and smoking my joint.
Conversations we need to have while high 1) how mermaids reproduce 2) if blind people hallucinate what do they see 3) reincarnation
One of my interns found me on Grindr. I'm really gonna make him earn the absurd amount of money I pay him.
I'm 2 seconds away from smashing the bottle and drinking it off the counter with a straw.
She shoved her hand down my pants and held my cock for thirty minutes in the bar. It was like she was letting all the other females know I was hers.
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