Girls don't like it when you cum inside them and then discuss baby names.
never have phone sex with a hardcore republican during this health care crisis . just dont.
I bet her clit looks like pig in a blanket.
gonna sleep on the stairs... to drunk to keep going up, way to drunk to go down, gonna find a comfy spot right here... its safer that way
DID YOU JUST COME OUT THROUGH A FACEBOOK COMMENT??
I just opened a bottle of wine with a shoe and a tube of mascara. Get on my level
He ran headfirst into the atm. Thenasmed us what our spirit animals were...he said his was either a dolphin or a cabbage
you're by far the better bro. your dick is more impressively sized, anyway
I hate that you know that from experience
we went to the bar with our boss and you tried to play a song from the atm machine
the last call horn was blaring when I tried peeling you off the bathroom floor than you uttered "Ill take the toothless one.'
Told him I'd blow him in the bathroom. There was a giant window everyone was looking thru. He whipped it out n I burst out laughing n walked away. Even blackout drunk I set the bar high. You should be proud.
He's upstairs shouting 'FUCK OFF I'M IN MY MOTHERFUCKING ZEN ZONE' out of the window.
I wonder if my sister will drive me around while I do bong hits in the back seat..
Let’s try it, I’ve never had a bad time with sex, tacos and beer.
His mom just pulled off a quadruple cockblock. I'm not sure if I'm mad or impressed?
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