This is clearly one of those "A hole's a hole" situations
He's playing farmville on his phone while puking over the toilet..
We ended up on a hotel balcony in Daytona where she lured a seagull down with a pizza crust she found in her purse and preceded to grab it out of the air by it's neck.
i gave her a can of corn and told her the cabs are accepting non perishable food items over the holidays. blatant lie and she lives like $40 away
Everything gets a little fuzzy after the flats of jello shots, but I do have a vague recollection of being at the top of a large human pyramid
You probably don't remember. You were drunk and getting your tits drummed on like haitian bongos in a voodoo ritual.
How much is that going to cost?
A lot of beer.
I feel a bullet train of disappointment headed in your direction.
Just threw up. It looks like I may have swallowed a cigarette.
I have already decided that it happened in an alternate universe since both of the people involved don't remember it and we only have the word of a sober person that it happened at all
All I want to do is sleep. And If I'm not sleeping, I want to be eating or fucking. I'm pretty sure being pregnant has turned me into a dude.
And please let him know I don't normally go off on long rants about feminist theory. That was totally the vodka talking.
Last night must have been awesome because I went to get in the shower only to find the bat symbol drawn on my chest
That happened during battle shots lol
If you could get me there thatd be perfect. I doubt there's extradition on the moon.
She threw her burger out the car window last night. My vegan neighbors were not pleased but I’m pretty sure I saw a for sale sign go up on their lawn so I owe her one.
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