shes hot in the i'd deny it if anyone asked kinda way
I didn't go out last night, but I dreamed that I blacked out and the *CRAZY* thing I did was to eat 12 cupcakes off 12 diff plates and stack them up neatly. If I had a life, I'd hate it.
last day of my family cruise we all got trashed and had an award ceremony. I got the award for hooking up with a cougar. my grandma hugged me and said im living up to the legacy. this is why my familys better than yours
Weird we were more concerned with sharing our germs than tag teaming the blow job?
My body is being held together with whiskey, nicotine, duct tape and a little bit of hope...
How do I politely say my vagina is not a chew toy and if you bite me again I will slap you?
You could say take it easy, whoa there, be gentle, anything that doesn't fully convey the horror.
let's remember the whole point of NYE: to drink antisocial amounts of antisocial drinks, become incoherent, ruin a carpet, talk to a tree, wake up with head sellotaped to toilet. The where/how is superfluous, my vote goes to a cupboard and a bottle of jaeger Questions?
What's the address?
Too drunk. Just google it.
IT'S YOUR HOUSE
Is it bad that all my wine bottles have teeth marks in the cork?
i am one UTI away from banning your fingers from my vagina
wearing the bible to the ABC party, thought you'd appreciate that.
Well, I guess that's how life goes for my dad. One minute you're walking with your cooler on the afterglow of a Lynyrd Skynyrd concert, the next you find your grown son choking out a drunk redneck against your pickup truck.
If I had 3 wishes one would for sure be a designated driver for life that gives hand jobs.
you gave a quesadilla a blow job with sour cream at Denny's.
Long story short if you're going to get drunk on a sailboat at night leave your phone in the car.
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