Heybabeimwearingurpanties
ya i guess you have to take things with a grain of salt in a place where nipple clamps are the norm..
The US State Dept doesn't need to know I'm a high strung drunken whore.
In his defense he just bought a bong like a week ago so he's still in that honeymoon phase.
He's so drunk he thinks he's the ultimate warrior. Told cops he was from parts unknown. Never broke character
I know my whole body feels like I belly flopped onto concrete. Seriously need to tone it down for a while
Vagic. Defined as a kind of magic one has over a girl's vagina. Used in a sentence... he's an accomplished vagician.
I thought it was improvement but then i realized sex isn't an emotion and I hate everyone
Wellp yesterday was spent absurdly hungover and today was spent in planned parenthood so I hope that's not an indication of the year to come
It's 1pm, she's in the shower, I don't have the guts tell her I wasn't her blind date. Someone got stood up.
the police report says i screamed sanctuary from a jungle gym at the playground when they caught up with us, obviously they disregarded international law.
If it snows I'm making an igloo and getting wasted in it
ill be home in an hour. Be in my bed ready for disappointment
Good new is, my parents are alive. Better news they will be in the hospital all weekend. Best news is im having a house party. All weekend.
I made him dinner in just his cowboy hat and my boots after we did it...you should see his face :)
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