Jennifer and I just ate like 4 jello shots w/ a guy dressed as inspector gadget. We are still in the capital building btw
I love Texas.
I woke up and peed for 26 seconds this morning. 26 seconds!
I need to stop hooking up with boys in my major. three boys in one class is just a litttle too awkward.
Welll when you have a beer at 8:30 am you've already decided whaat kind of Sunday it ism
I would like to add..this is the first november for two years that i haven't cheated on a bf...thank you..thank you
There needs to be waaaay more alcohol in my apartment if I am going to survive being unemployed
He kept moaning America instead of Erica while fucking me.
incase your class ends early, there are three naked guys in our room. but don't get too excited, they're all gay.
you were trying to convince me that you weren't drunk by grabbing my shoulders, looking deeply into my eyes and saying "i can see your sparkle"
Some guy in lab is humming along to a Sara Barrilles song. Or maybe I'm just hearing the song echoing in his huge, gaping vagina.
Apparently we don't communicate very well unless we're drunk and/or naked
After we had breakup sex it took him longer to say goodbye to my boobs than it did to me...
i turned around and there he was, right in my face. i was mid deep throat of a hot dog that i was eating with my hands and no bun. you win FSU, you win.
The comfort of this onesie is keeping me single
When I go to hand him the blunt and he's eating a cookie and responds with "let me hit this cookie"
Randomize