if your leaving for the weekend then im farting on your pillow
What do you think she thinks of us?
I think she thinks we're whores... but ya I think she likes us
Last nIght I drank wIth the new guy from fellowshIp & my pastor I've known sInce I was 7. It was agreed by them that I had nIce tIts. I'm not weIrded out In fact I'm flattered...
Just found out you can rent the rollerena for 100 bucks and you can bring your own beer... when are you free this week?
Drunk walkin through police station. America
You have to come over we all bought drinking hats. Mine has a turtle on it. Side note: somehow someone got their hands on 50 candied apples and we need to eat them...
You were almost as fucked up as I was the night I hooked up with a bob saget look alike...
Just out of curiosity. Did you wait until my fb picture was well liked by others before liking it so people won't know we're fucking?
This is classic penis vs brain.
Had a slight melanoma scare this morning. Spoiler alert, it was Nutella.
I mean it's up to you where you want to sleep but I'm telling you you're going to hear us have sex no matter what room you're in.
Fair enough
Im blaming it on six shots of Jack, loneliness and a chemical imbalance. That's the best I can think of...
Um so I might have accidentally on accident maybe blew up the bottom half of your truck...
it was a 'fall asleep on the bathroom floor after puking bc the cold tile is legit more comfortable than your bed' kind of night.
I just found a contact in my phone named "Nick from The Party". Who's nick?
Randomize