but i really can't criticize. i blacked out waaaaaay ahead of schedule.
I wonder if Barack Obama has ever been this drunk.
Is it creepy to message a girl and say you had me at stocked liquor cabinet?
I asked her if she was the outdoorsy type, she replied "I had sex on a fourwheeler once, does that count?"
She ate the cookie then went to the emergency room. Now her fam is pressing charges. Don't people understand you DON'T steal baked goods from potheads??
Im rolling a blunt of encouragement for you to return to
I look like one classy bitch running in heels through my backyard while carrying a small dog and a large bottle of booze. How am I still single?
Seems like you've kicked summer 2012 off well.
Just Everbombed a Guiness to make up for cutting out early last night. Also the Mars probe. Happy birthday motherfucker!
This guy is selling weed on the train. Like... Straight up. No fucks given.
I try not to flex my sex appeal too much around the engineers, it's like feeding bears...always ends in disaster.
Just keep your throat open and beer will always find its way in.
Thx for last night. I've never had so much fun while being told my life decisions are questionable at best.
someone just "made it rain" kraft processed sliced cheese. i forgot what it was like to be home...
I'm covered in glow paint and shame. I'm never leaving this country
he said he couldn't believe he just lost his virginity and passed out. what have i done
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