yeah, but that could mean anything in Denmark.
we were playing true or dare on a webcam chat and i was way to drunk ...i ended up having to drink my own piss outta a beer bottle, life couldnt get any worse right now
How much would it be to rent out Gus Johnson so he can announce our flip cup games?
i've learned that i'm good at stealing things. like live cats.
I can't believe I paid your booty call for a ride home in cake.
I think I should advise against you hooking up with a guy that throws "the shocker" up in all of his pictures on facebook. Just sayin.
I just made a cocktail. Had one shot of vodka left. It looked lonely so I decided to reunite it with its vodka friends in my bloodstream.
Starting the day at 1:44 in the afternoon. With a hot pocket and a mixer. Who knew my life had this kind of possibility.
I may have farted on a group of children. It may not have been an accident.
Like for real, is your junk ok? I have to look after my investments.
Just considered playing a drinking game with powerade with my sister so she would get some fluids in her. I do so well with sick people.
He snapchatted me his dick and he's circumcised....BRB going to hug his Mom
On a scale from 1 to banned, how offensive do you think it would be to wish my vibrator happy Valentine's Day on various social media outlets?
He is a sex God. It lasted more than an hour, and I don't remember how many times I came. I lost count at 57.
My liver is screaming fuck you right now.
4 pharmacies and not one had Plan B. If this is gods way of telling me it's time for a child, he can fuck off.
Randomize
