So today I found out that our school is known as the herpes school
all the douches that like ed hardy are the same douches that were obsessed with lisa frank
Would you like to blur the lines between friendship and lesbianism tonight?
ya i found him eventually. hes the only one who drinks guiness so I just had to follow the darkest green puke trail
I could swear I did coke with Jesus last night
I kinda remember trying to staple rolls of toilet paper to make a pillow, but it's blank after that.
Finished sriting an apology letter to my liver 2 weeks before st. Patricks game on
Dude you were tripping so badly we put a pretend box around your head and you spoke silently for the rest of the night. I think pterodactyls were involved.
I found them. Thank God. Now I'm gonna have to take a Xanax for the panic attack I almost had trying to find my Xanax.
Apparently nothing brings out sympathy in a barista like asking if they have a hangover special
I'm honored that you could tear yourself away from your girlfriend's vagina long enough to text me.
I just want some dick and chicken fingers please advise
I'M OFFICIATING THIS WEDDING. HOLY SHIT.
Would an open wound count as good sex or bad sex?
Remeber when we went camping and fucked those two guys? Yeah me either but I'm covered in poison oak so I'm guessing it's from that.
Randomize
