I am so horny I keep driving over the rumble strips... best half hour ever.
she had a pic of herself in a bikini as the wallpaper on her iPhone... I'm sensing a Tyra banks kinda girl. shit.
I kept pulling the $1 bills off the stage and told everyone "no no no she has to work for this money"
Lets go see if some hobos will give us a prostate massage for a 40 ounce.
the night probably should have been over when the guy let her fill out my mechanical bull waver for me because i couldn't read
I worked hard to give you that boner. No one else should get to enjoy it!
So this is where people who peaked in high school come to drink?
Just got a Snapchat of his dick with the caption 'We miss you.'
That's true love, there.
Im in my back seat in my own drive way with two beers left to shotgun and watching the sunrise. Am I over her yet?
Am I the only one who saw the used condom in the driveway this morning
The dick lei will go down in squad history
You gotta have 1 orgasm for me and the rest can be for you. I'm living vicariously through you 😂
My vape juice got mixed up with the astroglide.
Wow..I bet that tasted bad.
Not tasted.
Last night was great... In the "I got videotaped making out and getting a handjob on the couch in front of 100 people." kinda way.
I think I achieved my goal of being high for 24 hours in the same week I promised myself I wouldn't smoke anymore
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