I'm so over stopping myself from talking about my sexual experiences in front of children.
We had sex in his tahoe, talked about how we don't love each other and then high fived twice. Best Day Ever
i just snorted my name. best moment ever
dude it was like an art museum there were boobs everywhere
Making the executive decision for drunk you to not sleep in the lofted bed that has no ladder
I just want to go some place where I can have a nice night. Grind on men who speak no English, make out with a girl, and not feel judged.
I just asked the dr if it was herpes while wearing my shirt from the strip club...
I told you to stay away from the strippers in Oklahoma
You were eating microwaved pad thai out of a solo cup with a pair of scissors....
Def walking back to my apt with a blender, an empty vodka bottle, and a half eAtn drumstick cone.
Fuck a-yeah! I just found a wine key. Let 'Don't Fuck With Me Friday' commence.
Thats gotta be it. Also just found out that the fireworks will fit in the airsoft pistols...we are all gonna die
Is tonight a drink a little and reminisce kinda night, or a drink everything and pray kinda night?
Denis dont give a fuck, Denis drinks out of straws. Denis disregards the fire station & bought 18 fire hoses so he can fight it himself if the farmhouse is on fire.
You were out of control then you fell asleep on his lap for 30 min and woke up civil. Way to powernap to sobriety!
I am just High Enough to train A-Team of bodybuilding squirrels MMA techniques to tear you asunder. And it's not that I want to is just don't you make me do it!
Randomize
