If that was your dad, he is hot
dude i just saw a topless girl trying to get into her locked car. im moving here
Someone just pulled taco bell tacos out of their purse in class....2 problems with here. 1) this class is nutrition 2) taco bell is not open this early.
I cannot believe we're comparing my vagina to Mary Poppins and a black hole.
It's safe to say that our attempt at trying to fuck in the grand Sierra elevator was a bad idea.
They'd unbutton the overalls with their lesbian-tongues. It wouldn't even be a problem.
Don't smoke out front when you get home there's gasoline involved I'll tell you later
On a scale of 1 to "bad descision", where does stealing my racist neighbors dog and giving him my roomates dildo for a chew toy rate?
I just had nipple jewelry returned to me in the law library.
Oh, honey. If you're seeing a girl just for the sex, never doubt that she knows and she's doing the same thing. We're not stupid, we're just craftier than you.
If she wants experimental lesbian sex, i call dibs
The pool of urine in the trash can signifies both a regretful yet successful night.
Dammit. the window insulation sheets are too small for my windows. Yet again I am disappointed by size
I've realized that drinking at your apartment alone on a Tuesday probably isn't a good thing.
Have I told you i love you?
there's no need we are two peas in a naughty pod of fuckery
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