Nah got too drunk to function...probably could have dragged something home over my shoulder if the cops didn't roll
I just high-fived this girl after she swallowed.
Tostitos scoops are the best shotglasses ever. Eat it after as a chaser.
Drinking in an igloo changes everything.
Their wedding is on my 21st birthday. I fail to see a way that this could end poorly.
A friday night jus isn't the same if the cops don't raid my dorm
did you know that if you have sex in the elevator on the way up that people can still get in?
Not rlly sure. Might just drink and sleep. Gotta wake up for my last rabies shot lol
There appears to be a lake on my nightstand. As usual, I should not be considered a suspect. Together, we will find out who did this.
They can be so fun, drunk bruises are like clues to the treasure of what actually happened last night. "why do I have a bruise on my belly button? oh right. i was trying to turn my stomach off so I would stop throwing up."
The pigeons can smell the fear
Wtf
Not only is he in the circus, the man survived a near death experience and has an accent. She might as well have found a unicorn. This shit just doesn't happen in real life. Where did she meet this magical creature?
Would you be mad if I just used the argument "I'm allowed to say that, my best friend is a lesbian"?
Never. I'm proud to help you win arguments.
The next time we go out, we're bringing a jar so that people can contribute to the rest of what I need to come up with for my breast implants... We'll show them yours for inspiration and persuasion.
He was about to go in...and he fell off the bed. Ruined mood!
Randomize
