Miracle whip is the devil's jizz.
apparently red wine has the total opposite effect that whiskey does on his dick
Pretty sure she's used to bigger guys. She kept slipping off while on top. like, constantly
we got our roommate high for the first time. He went into his room alone and watched Malcolm in the middle for three hours
I'm on the strip, it's like a mini new years eve. Some girl just got taken away on a stretcher with her meter margarita in her hand claiming it's trophy for being awesome. Damn tourists are lightweights.
I don't care if the man pisses on teenage girls, he's enchanting.
please dont make me drink to the titanic soundtrack
She is a social worker. An actual good person trying to save the world. I feel like every time I give her an orgasm God wipes a little smudge off of my shit list.
I applaud your efforts, but I have to say it was the bear we encountered that ultimately shut down the entire operation
You'd think the dry cleaners next door would be less judgmental for as much business as my theme parties bring them.
Well ill be drunk so just come find me. Its like where in the world is Joey San Diego
Did you take the bag w/your drugs & cookie cutter?
Btw I have come to the conclusion that we really need to do it in a bed. Like at least once..
My niece I'm babysitting left earlier to stay the night with her friend. I got ditched by an 8 year old.
Also this morning I remembered seeing the stripper he threw up on later in the night. She was clothed though.
Randomize
