The girl in the car behind me just took a bowl hit. I miss college.
I think i really like him...he was super cuddly and kept me company.
stop. you already have a dog
I just want to get to the point in our relationship where I can get on top of her and fart and we can both laugh...not just me.
NC is no longer selling 190 proof Everclear. We are officially no longer the greatest state.
i lost my airplane ticket and tried to board with a bar receipt in all the confusion. i have officially lost all brain cells in college.
you started putting condoms on anything with a point, then you were yelling at the lamp for using your last condom...
just woke up to a get well card i wrote myself when i was drunk. it was by the advil. i am a cocky bitch.
We need to put it on a rope attached to the bong, so it can't be dropped. Apparently, you need a stem safety leash.
I guess I just stopped wanting to rip his balls out and started being okay with him being alive. that's a typical feeling for exes right?
I have a boner in one of my pics with her which no one noticed.
Well I'm going to hell. But I'm going after multiple orgasms.
He interrupted me giving him head to ask if I were hungry, because he wanted to eat pizza. Wtf.
i tried to break up pigeon sex because one looked too young to consent. fireball feminism ftw
why do i have a pole dance champion shot glass?
I knocked over his glass and he yelled "Oh no the boxed wine!" and slurped it off the coffee table. Then he showed me how to mix maple syrup, Jameson, and coffee. My family is better than your family.
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