It feels like I shit a light bulb that shattered on the way out.
Never underestimate the healing power of vomiting and a bath.
The house is trashed, there is porn scattered everywhere like an easter egg hunt and the blow up doll is sleeping on the couch downstairs. someone covered her up.
he picked an earring up off the bar floor and tried to give it to girls as a present.
Can we please stop calling your vagina the cave of wonders?
Look at my eyebrows in this pic! We deffo need to go back to that waxing place.
You have a cock in one hand and a shot in the other. Your eyebrows are not the topic in need of discussion.
We were on the ground in Tampa for 55 hours and we drank for 30 of them.
We won Spring Training 2013.
Her alarm in the morning was Best Day Ever from Spongebob. I'm have lots of conflicting feelings right now...
I can't believe you won 5 grand from the casio last night and spent more than 80% on tacobell and strippers already
I have aggressive nipples.
I like it here so far, only people are a lot less accepting of my terrible decisions and it's cramping my style
Tempted to tell the Titos promoters at this bar that they are doing the lords work.
Then, even the devil himself would be scared of us. And we'd be bestfriends with Jesus. He would love us.
Sorry you uh had to see that last night. That's the problem with open fields, no privacy...
I don't know what that means but it's making me want to fuck you.
Randomize
