I just woke up to a lawnchair covered in lipstick. I'm wearing red lipstick. What happened and is the tequila?
Please, let me fuck your mom
Drunk in a bar in Texas. The 24 y/o hottie I am chatting up just called me a male cougar. I am dealing with this whole turning 40 thing juuuust fine.
okay, prove you're not drunk to me. write 5 true sentences about me with correct grammar.
I am sober. Because I don't drunk. It is bad. People die. I like Domenico because o he bag women what up?
just googled chastity belt to see if it really exist..
I doubt the Taliban would support fake nipples.
when i came out to my mom, it was over brunch. i was eating a banana. not exactly my smartest breakfast choice.
I'm spoon feeding myself tequila for breakfast, should we skip class today?
It feels kinda weird thanking you for sucking my dick, but I just don't know what else to do right now
Did you Fuck minivan and her friend last night?
I think I want to impress his gay best friend more than him..
He's only done it missionary. His world is about to be rocked. Do you know what I look like from behind?
He was going down on me and all I could think about was how proud of me you'd be
So...#1 on my TO DO list for college is to fuck someone somewhere in the stadium during the homecoming game...you down?
I just had mom give me advice about how and where to store my lube in my shower. It was super awkward. Of course, she also walked in on me masturbating once so I guess turnabout is fair play
Randomize
