I just threw up on my dentist
i googled waterboarding like you asked. as long as you do it outside. we have carpet. but i wont be a part of it.
I'm still seeing blue. who wrote on my bare nipple?
Any coincidence your getting married tomorrow and it's the most predicted day for the rapture? Just saying
oh dear god, that would be like watching to female walruses mate. We need to stop going to that lesbian bar...
You came home with a traffic cone and said, "this is my birthday condom."
She just causally held my limp dick in her hand the entire movie. Her parents were cuddling on the couch too..that brave!
What's it called where you go to the stripclub with two guys that have both gone down on you...
Tuesday
When you put my balls in your mouth i just want to buy you expensive gifts...you know what i mean?
Wow it must be so difficult to be as popular as you are and smoke as much weed as you do
Why would you trust me with ANYTHING!!!???
He’s like an awkward walking penis that has a personality attached
Found your bra in my backseat. And yes it took me that long to finally clean it out from last weekend
Didn't even know it was missing, if that makes you feel any better
His mom just pulled off a quadruple cockblock. I'm not sure if I'm mad or impressed?
My GF, FWB and Side piece are all booty calling me. I’m a victim of my sexual success
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