Why were you high on a thursday?
today's a wednesday
I asked first.
i would punch a child for taco bell
its summer. and we all know college gfs do not count in summer.
college gfs dont count ever. theyre like getting corn rows in jamaica. you feel cool at the time. then you go home and people make fun of you.
I'm at the airport and there's a guy wearing all camoflash to go hunting .. Should I bump in to him and say woahh sorry didn't see you there?
This girl is drinking wine and watching grey's anatomy in the library during finals week. I hate comm majors.
My favorite part was when he stopped, looked up in the middle of performing oral sex and asked, "you did know it was Arbor Day, right?"
And PS thanks for calling it my "sexual liberation" and not "slut fest 2010: part deux!"
Your philanthropic work just got me laid, thanks dad for naming me #2.
Im deleting that text because its a possible ncaa violation
He tells me he loves me and I say I just want him for sex, then he looks at me like I just said I hate puppies. What kind of guy is he?
I was just too high to be in rapids man. I just screamed for the entire time I was jostling about.
That chick went from zero to shitshow in only 6 shots.
Some guy just rode an office chair down my street, I hope he comes back so I can give him my number.
He stopped mid sex to pour wine in my mouth...
Marry him.
I managed all three standard threesome configurations a female-bodied person can achieve in just under nine years. I want to high-five everyone involved, but I've lost touch with a couple of them
Randomize
