Why does every girl think its ok to cheat on their boyfriends with me?
i guess i called my mom last night. she wasnt nearly as impressed with what we did in the bathroom as i was
it was like fucking with batman, he had gadgets i never even imagined
Apparently one comment in my womens studies class cockblocks yourself for an entire semester.
No, i will not have sex with him again. It felt like he was trying to bulldoze his way through me. My vagina is on strike.
Im the proud new owner of the campus speed bump sign
Highlight of the night was you walking into the men's room yelling "My husband is diabetic" and crawling under the stall to yell at me.
You rubbed your penis on my leg and said "people have paid for this kind of action"
WHO THE FUCK TAGS THEMSELVES AT COUNTY JAIL?!?!
Kyle's mobile fuck service..... Kinda has a nice ring to it don't you think??
Today's hangover is probably top 3 of all time. Just threw up in an envelope. I'm on the ferry and didn't want to get out to puke over the side because I thought I might fall in the river.
Pretty sure we're going to get a cease & desist notice from the Make A Wish Foundation, but until then...
We keep making plans but he keeps getting arrested. Such a tease
I finally realized he drank way too much when he tried serenading me to the song "come my lady" while slowly and creepily making his way toward me...keeping constant eye contact.
I was in line at Panera when I got the pic you sent to your coworker. I just showed your vag to a soccer mom. The vibrator was a nice touch.
Randomize
