Turns out you're obligated under man law to share any passwords you may have for porno sites
Is that what they're teaching u at that bar review class?
Immaculate conception is definitely the most boring way to conceive a child.
seeing an 80 year old woman puke in the bushes changes everything...
that's spring break in florida for ya
He shaved off his eyebrows. This is not my life.
Im pretty sure it started going awry when I asked their mom "How much would it cost me to sleep with your daughters"
Let's just not urinate on things that don't need to be urinated on
The dopest dose you'll ever dose. I felt like an octopus all of thursday
My entire summer has consisted of being too drunk for this shit, too sober for this shit, or too hungover for this shit.
Can you work for me at 4? We might have just taken some drugs we found in the couch and... end of story
You are the only person I have ever seen offer your other drink to the bouncer on two fors night
Bouncers are people too...giant angry people
Dammit now I'm pissed. Its like I am torn between two worlds. A world of girls, and a world of people punching other people in the head. Both are just so beautiful.
I really wanted to pound but her roomate was making mac n cheese n shit so I was trying to time her moans to the drone of the microwave
I'm content with our "friends with accidental benefits" situation.
I have had flashes of 69ing, a strawberry flavored condom and begging him to sleep naked.
I have a lot of money, and no morals. shots on you when you get here.
Randomize
