1:57 a.m. Where did you go???
1:58 a.m. What are you doing? I want to go home with you, why aren't you responding?
2:11 a.m. Heading back to your place now, will you let me in?
So remember when i bet you that girl uses dick to validate her existence?
...yea
She's valid.
Reach down the front of your pants and feel around for a while. When you find your balls, leave the library and meet me at the bar.
is she serious with that outfit? Why doesnt she just paste a for sale sign on her boobs?
stayed up to watch the sunrise..saw an albino taking shots on the quad..it's like there's a whole new world of people out there just waiting to meet us
i was trying to find the best way to say come over and have sex, without saying it.
I can't believe you're fucking in the bar bathroom, but everyone else can, and they're really proud.
Do you think if I puke at the gym they think is because I'm going hard walking on the treadmill?
So that's all you want from me. Easy ass.
And an everlasting friendship
Repeat. Dildo on the ceiling, confiscated potato shooter, and bottle of yegger. Repeat. Ceiling dildo and yegger.
And I just found out I called my debit card a fast food passport so I dont deserve to live
Signs of a stoner: trying everything in your fridge topped with peanut butter to seek satisfaction.
Walking into her house she felt something in her bra.... It was a used condom. Sadly enough this is not the first or last time it will happen. It's time for an intervention.
i literally have the attention span of a weasel on steroids, but yeah, i know who you’re talking about.
I'm about to go get lunchables and alcohol. Take that adulthood
Randomize
