He told me I remind him of his sister...
Was this before or after you did it?
before... I mean, it's been a long time. I just tried not to think of it during.
Adam has been drinking
Who has his phone
Adam does
i turned job hunting into a drinking game..
I woke up in what appears to be a taco bell graveyard in my bed.
I heard that if you win you get to have sex with me. You guys really need to stop wagering my vagina.
I'm drinking bacardi out of her mom's eco-green starbucks mug and chasing it with her sister's "for track only" vitamin water. Hello suburbia
I'm pretty sure they had a hash wedding cake. I love college weddings.
I dropped my blunt out the window of a moving car by accident, tell me everything will be okay
We should drive around in your Jeep on snow days and get stoned while we help random strangers stuck in the snow. So much good karma.
My mom asked me if I ever go on dates. I had to suppress the urge to ask if having casual sex with a freshmen counts as dating
You were so proud of your stupid "magic trick" but all you did was piss on the couch. don't talk to me for a few days.
So you drank bourbon with cough syrup?
I still had a cough. It only makes sense
Orientation leader success, day 1: incoming freshman just ate out his first sorority girl. I gave him a 7/10.
Now all I have unanswered questions and a fucked up finger
My potted cactus died. I am literally less nurturing than the desert.
Randomize
