That's your vagina. No one goes out and burns it
people and things i regret. that's what i want to do tonight.
I woke up to somebody tossing my salad... I should have drank more
$1.99 mimosas n bloodys til 3. Happy hour starts at 4. We're gonna ride the mechanical bull to kill the hour inbetween.
Please take video.
Wine smoothie.... Not as good as I thought it would be
maybe you should start leaving anonymous bottles of booze on his doorstep with love notes attatched. that always gets me.
That's ok. Our relationship has a solid foundation of booze and questionable behavior.
If your relationships aren't working out because she doesn't have a penis THEN maybe you should give dudes another go
Apparently throwing balloons filled with vodka off the roof is considered terrorism.
Do you want the fat one with an ok face or the skinny ugly one?
It doesn't matter as long as our shame is in tandem.
he can get married early and ruin his life but he sure as hell isn't ruining mine with a shitty bachelor party
Life update - currently drunk off my ass in the yoga room of SFO at 5:30 in the morning.
well smoking weed has become a deal breaker for me so I pretty much use "let's go smoke a blunt" as an icebreaker
Thanks for the hospitality last night.
You mean sex?
Yes....hospitality.
Btw you guys passed out eating DP dough and watching Pocahontas... on a monday
it was stoner heaven..
Randomize
