come over
yeah sure
wait who is this again? my contacts got deleted...but tell me and ill be there in 10
One of my residents in my hall just found my positive pregnancy test from last year I hid behind the fridge, I'm just going to tell them it was for a science project.
ask me if i forgot to go to a midterm today
all of his pictures were taken on a library computer, how did you even consider fucking him?
He kept saying it was because he was allergic to the chicken. Then he threw up on my mom.
at what point did you see referring to the bartender as 'the white precious' a good idea??
We tried to line dance with everyone but it turned into drunken stumbling and attempting to grind on random frat boys. I feel that this might turn into an every Thursday thing.
Fixing to yell "you're too hot for her" at a Gerard butler look alike. There is absolutely no way this is going to end well...
True life. I have to get a nose job due to a deviated septum from blowing coke. Thank you college.
No, no. The rest of his everything inspires me to put his dick in my mouth
damnit. I just found my cousin on tinder.
stoners and superglue do NOT mix
I'm ordering dildos in a santa hat. You?
I HAVENT HAD A NICE A NICE DICK SINCE FEBRUARY!! I WANNA KEEP THIS ONE!!!
You walked right into the door. Even the door guy and security guys were laughing.
Randomize
