He went so fast i didnt even have time to pretend like i was about to have a fake orgasim
an unopened bag of salt and vinegar chips... probably the best thing I've ever found in my room while high.
Why do fat girls all have such cute faces?
God wants them to get laid too.
Weird question, would you want to do fetish porn? you get paid.
I don't not like him. It's just wierd talking to him because we both know I fucked his wife.
My eyes feel like they're throwing up and I am the only human on campus
We are there now. They have a giant cock and balls with an eagles face and wings.
Today I left one job interview, showed up randomly at his house for a midday bootycall then left right after to attend my second job interview. I got both jobs
My jeans are ripped and her glitter was all over me.. My walk of shame looked like I fucked a unicorn last night
Woke up in the middle of my kitchen clutching a cheesy gordita crunch
Also I've been at work for an hour and I've already been "honey"d "babe"d and "beautiful"d by three separate men. Apparently hungover with yesterdays make up looks good on me.
He literally just patted me on the vagina and said goodnight to it.
Does puke ruin car paint? Good thing it's raining.
I'm going to need a penis the size of a bat
How drunk were you? in an effort to seduce him, you demonstrated your lap dance skillz on his dog.
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