I went to blockbuster, where I always go when I need to soul searching
Despondent, hopeless, I decide on vantage point, because I vaguely resemble matthew fox (let me believe this, please)
It was cheaper to buy then rent, so now I'm stuck w/ a wretched hangover and I own this shit movie
I dont abuse you, i just hit you while we have sex
Did you draw a mustache on my drivers license picture??
Just found out my drug dealer is also a porn star. It's a good day.
when i woke up this morning i blew my nose and ash came out.. i'm not sure what to make of this.
We broke into the space center. If i go to jail I wanted to tell you, you have a fantastic dick. Use it wisely.
I just need three more girls to complete my 'Freak-a-leak' bang list. Know any girls named Zahra, Shavon, or Daronda?
I would come over if there was not the impending fear of me shitting out my brains.
When asked if they had been introduced, Damo said "No but I know we've pretty much fucked all the same girls in town"
Oh yeah I remember when I first saw Kyler's balls. If there's anything high school swim prepared me for, it's the amount of testicles I would see here
Remember that time we turned a can of Axe body spray into a flame thrower?
You need to somehow incorporate the phrase "these hoes ain't loyal" into your best man speech.
I only want to come over for sex and blueberry pancakes
He was the highest I've ever seen. Almost had him convinced there are only three colors in the rainbow...
I managed to convince her that the egg yolks were actually orange juice and she fell for it
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