Great, now everyone thinks I've had giraffe semen in me
im doing shots everytime lil jon says it in the song shots....blackout town here i come
Someone just asked me to go to the dining hall for dinner and he will use one of his swipes to pay for my meal. i think this is a college version of a date
i told her that i loved her pillow breasts and then she asked me if i wanted to motor boat them. so yea, i do need the room tonite.
Dude she let me cum on her face
You have the wrong number I'm the she who let you cum on her face unless some other girl has let you since this morning
I want to give my boyfriend great head for his birthday...can i practice on you?
walking around pouring bird seed on passed out guys in the quad.
Driving by his house every hour is not stalking, it's a reconnaissance mission... How else can I confront him
I just got woken up by some Christians who wanted to talk about the bible. ways to make a hangover even worse for a thousand trebek
If he's the sort of guy that will fuck in a public restroom, he's the sort of guy that will cheat on his gf. I'm goin for it.
Someone had Captain Morgan and orange juice at the same moment I lost my hangover and I just had to give it a try.
I'm the catering manager, it's not my job to stop 2 teenagers from fucking in the bathroom. I couldn't bring myself to stop that sort of young romance anyway, that's what I pay you people for
I'm still drunk dear. I just woke up 3 feet from the front door with 20 dollars worth of taco bell in my hands.
Thrres cinnamon everywgte. Plead cine get me
You turned down sex for fried cheese??
My penis and doctor won't be happy with me, but come on. Fried cheese!
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