I just queefed in yoga class and now the old man next to me is smiling at me.
I have your camera. You have 35 naked pictures of me. you're welcome.
A horse told me not to drive home last night. I think there was a cop on top of it.
we didnt even have break up sex...
you had it for us with someone else...
That's exactly how my pussy feels when I shave it. Like a cross between a naked mole rat and a newborn child. Embrace it.
You were on shrooms and "the trees are crazy green!" is all you could manage.
This guy smells like mr Rogers puppets and I don't know how to deal with it
He got naked after doing the Ice Water Challenge and it was still enormous. So, yeah, I stayed over.
My general physician told me i have the emotional capacity of a 2 year old, While he refilled my xanax prescription. That's service!
having flashbacks of licking salt of your dick for my shot of tequila
I have aggressive nipples.
Don't judge me 👊🏼 his dick just whispers my name
I'm not trying to analyze you I'm just saying you are being unfair to soup
you had me at "meet me in the bathroom"
as a lesbian i'd like to thank joe biden and also america for giving us this absolute MILF for a VP
Randomize