exactly what part of this weekend seemed like a good idea?
He wanted to take me out and said we could "go huntin in the woods."
i told my grandma i broke up with my boyfriend. her reply " you need to play the field more anyway"
We are brilliant. We call it the pint walk. Killing a pint of vodka while we walk from cleveland park to dupont. just making mama proud
I just fucked 3 marines at the same time...how did you celebrate veterans day?
Just watched a UNI fan at the bar lick the tears off of a KU fans face.. See what march madness does to people
Let's review the facts-we're bored, we have a ton of beer, and we live 5 minutes from the zoo. This equation is easily solvable
peeing off your aunts pourch into the koy pond seemed like a good idea at the time
first party of the semester tomorrow. thinking of wearing a huge sign that says "my summer was good" to avoid the 67 questions and get straight to drinking
He raised his arm and dropped it in his sleep to smack himself awake. He knows his phone has an alarm clock right?
Suddenly I feel like all I did this summer was have sex in our apartment
When the nurse referred to my vag as "your downstairs", I knew I found the perfect Doctors office.
I think I ingested my vampire fangs last night.
Best part about a crippling state-wide drought? Actually having a valid excuse for not showering
I feel like I might be the only person I know who eats bundles of radishes in-between orgasms from their vibrator.
Randomize
