I should be sponsored by Trojan
So we fuck and I say, "I'm about to go." He tells me, "No, leave at ten.. just lay here for a little while." When I ask, "Why?!" He gets his feelings hurt and says, "ugh. or don't." Since when did guys start acting like girls?
so would me posting the photos of the cock and coin jar incident be completely out of the question?
we used a swiffer mop as a stripper pole.
We have sex, then we talk about foreign policy. Its a win-win.
She just broke down showed up grabbed a beer said fuck it pulled off her fake eyelashes looked at my roommate and said we need to break up you're a nice guy and I'm a whore
It's fucking New Year's. I can be soberish in 2013 after tonight. It's like the 30 years of grey area between Jesus' birth and death.
Oh and someone pissed in my shoes, so I'll let you figure that out.
I thought it was improvement but then i realized sex isn't an emotion and I hate everyone
Sweet! It'll be a "that-minor-I-used-to-serve-alcohol-to-is-no-longer-a-minor" party!!!
Please can we have sex in this office for old times sake
million dollar idea: razor dispensers in bar bathrooms. your welcome, girls who didn't think they were getting laid tonight.
can you come here so we can have really loud sex? the girl upstairs walks so loud i want her to know how it feels
of course
His dick has the same name as my pipe. I'm keeping him forever.
All I know is when I asked you how many fingers I was holding up, you said "Hippo"
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