you never know when you'll meet the man of your dreams and bang him in an elevator
I should just wear a shirt that says "Im Sorry" on the front because the second we land in Vegas, I'm going to be a fuckin trainwreck.
I just found out my boyfriend is cheating on me, please tell me Carl is a unisex name.
You fell asleep leaning on my shoulder at the bar
the beer staff turned into a beer spear way to quickly
Had no idea what his name was when I woke up. Went through his desk, found his tax records. Ben. And loaded.
Friend date it is then. Question: Can friends engage in sexual activities after dates?
FRIENDSHIP PRAYER: May the crabs of 1,000 whores infest the crotch of the person who fucks up your day
It makes no sense at first, you go with it, it's fun and entertaining and then a disaster
when the repo soundtrack came on in the middle of us having sex i realized it was about time that i clear out my itunes library
it's ok, no one ever died fom being sticky.
i've gotta research that and get back to you.
He went down on me to the national anthem being sung by Jordan sparks. It was very patriotic of him
this is an emotional support booty call
Fast is cars. Home is I now. Drunk yoda me is.
He lit my hand on fire and bought me chicken nuggets. I'm in love.
Randomize
