I wish I could rss feed the hooker ads on craigslist because it looks suspicious that I check craigslist every hour.
i stole $50 bucks from my girlfriends purse to pay for my other girls abortion pill...shes gonna be pissed
I don't think its a good idea if I moon a whole bar again
The liquor store is having an inventory reduction sale. It would be a sin not to stop and help them out.
And we all know God doesn't like sinners.
Amen.
Hopefully. Play it cool. Bust out a few jokes. Chew with your mouth closed and show your boobs.
Update: still drunk enough to get lost in Zellers and to think my reflection was my mother. Awesome day.
girl I've been sleeping with this summer as per her request just gave me a carton of cigs to thank me for my "hospitality". this is good.
No no no...you park the car, stick your tongue down his throat, slip your number in his pocket, invite him to insomnia, and THEN LEAVE. You go from awkward to epic in a matter of seconds.
Come part with me. By you sleep! No fun. Idek feelings Sorry for your life.
I have no idea, but there's a bus parked in front of my house and like 6 texts saying im gonna prove my love. this is either really really awesome or really really bad.
You know how hard it is to play cool while not drowning and appreciating a pair of butts at the same time?
I climbed out a window to pee last night because i thought i was locked in the room... Then crawled back in and went to bed. The poor neighbors.
Also, next time I go get a wax, I'm gonna ask the girl about the innie to outie ratio she sees on the daily.
I am officially in a love triangle with my celebrity crush
Yea...Let's just say I gave her the best 3 and half minutes of her life then she took a 40 minute cab ride home that she paid for...
Randomize
