She just told me she's too full for a reach-around. Sad.
I just had sex on a bear rug. My life is complete.
I just test ran being their maid. I'm getting 50 bucks a month and they're buying the costume.
She started ignoring us once we told her we were out to celebrate your abortion. Who knew strippers could be judgemental?
You should have seen her, she looked like a skinny Jabba The Hutt
That literally makes no sense
Exactly
The most humiliating part was that I farted while he was tasing me.
Yes sir I did. I'll be there with a guest. And no, my date won't be an escort.
Well if that changes tell the escort to bring cocaine.
You had sex with a mute, how is that not funny
did i make more ranch sandwiches last night
you had 4
Can you please explain to me why there are 7 bags of tacos in my bed?
You aren't truly friends with someone until you play drinking games via text at 8:30 in the morning.
Like when I see him I look straight through his appearance and just envision a big walking penis.
Think I have the only job where I can be naked in a room with my manager at work. Apart from hookers
I'm so happy for you. But I still have to shave because a woman has needs and this woman needs an orgasm.
I never thought I would encounter a situation that was "Too Gay" for me...and yet there I was.
Randomize
