Writing my paper on freud at bar
??
Going up to girls and asking if they were anal explosive or anal retentive as children
Smooth
i now understand why he chose to have sex with my friend rather then me after lookin in the mirror this morning. and id do the same thing.
I feel like sober is me a distant relative that I only see on christmas..
just found a beer in my hamper. even my laundry is a dirty alcoholic.
Nothing like throwing up 1/2 price appatizers and 2 4 1 personal pitcher in uniform to remind myself what a succesful failure I am
I can't believe you just became a stipulation in their divorce papers.
Don't blame me for eating all the ham.. I gave it out to people, so at most I'm guilty of ham distribution
I seriously think my heart may fail. And I didn't even grab a toilet beer :(
I didnt think the feeling of accomplishment for fucking brothers would be this great.
I think he is probably a psycho that will eventually murder me but i mean the sex last time was AWESOME.
I am about to embark upon a south Boston wedding....
Hydrate.
He's tying my arms above my head and all I can think is that I should've shaved my armpits
i mean hes a break dancing puerto rican, how do you think the sex was?
This chick walked up to me in the bar and started making out with me, then grabbed my drink while I wasn't looking and walked off.
Was picked up in the middle of a bar full of people...apparently I'm not tall enough to reach for drunken makeouts. I'm proud of myself.
Randomize
