Made out with some random "plus sized" young lady. She let me kiss her boobies. It was like I was 6 months old again.
oh hey summer self, welcome to endless thirsty thursdays and walks of shame.
Passing out during sex is actually quite pleasant. its like being rocked to sleep with a penis
Does hooking up with the gay pledge count as hazing?
I just found a list in your handwriting titled "Places I've Peed." The National Mall and 'under the second bridge after the bend in the road' are two of the tamer entries. I tip my hat.
I just puked behind a tree outside work, then walked past my manager with puke in my hair. Man, I'm gonna miss this when I get a real job.
He took getting"shit in your neighbors hot tub drunk" way to literally
This breakup hit defcon 5. Walked to pathmark with a denim jacket over my nightgown to get ben and jerrys. On sale btw.
I needed that adderall to break my tradition of passing out at the bar on Sundays
REWARD BLOWJOB!! STAY RIGHT WHERE YOU ARE I'LL BE THERE IN FIVE MINUTES.
I bought a box of wine on my way home. I figured if I’m going to be broke during the holidays, I might as well be able to drink about it.
Poor guy. Tried so hard to get out of the friend zone. I had to make out with someone in front of him to put him in his place.
i found a picture from last night of you sat on the floor naked, covered in butter and crying. care to explain?
I was hoping you could tell me..
No instead we fucked in the elevator.. it was wrong on so many levels..
How tall was the building? Maybe it was only wrong on some of them
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
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