Even DaVinci knew it was gay to draw the penis big. Thanks art history
I'm drinking margaritas out of a soup mug, of course I'm going to get wasted
This exeeds the amount of high I planned on being.
We established that I was in 5th grade when she was in her final year of grad school. Her daughter is also in 5th grade.
Dunno yet. Probably just gonna play the s.t.d. russian roulette game with random bartenders at the beach again. Same 'ol same 'ol
I stuck my fake eyelashes to his balls after he passed out.
Tequila ran out around 11 so she let them do body shots of chips and guacamole instead
I was so high I didn't realize I'd put on someone else's bra. I thought my boobs had shrunk.
Naw but when she was in the bathroom I threw the condom out the window and I'm pretty sure it hit some girl
I feel like we have a good system here turning our sketchy decisions into great stories.
Beer bong just needs to be rebedazzled but it's gonna make it
You know you're high when, "Why can't I steal the duck?!" Becomes a serious question.
He drunk texted me what I think is two snails fucking on a mushroom. Is "you sick bastard" too mild a rejection?
But he was still all, "YOU TEXTED TONY WHILE YOU WERE GETTING FUCKED?!" Like THAT was the weird part.
My last Google search was 'can an impotent man have sex'. I don't even want to know what I did with that guy.
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