The solution to mudbutt is never ever Clorox wipes. It stings soooooooo bad.
Im in search of the perfect penis, it would be unethical for me not to test run them.
Your last day of twenties? OK. Then I'll give you til midnight. Then you turn into a pumpkin. A big, 30 year old pumpkin.
Not sure how I feel about St Psts and March Madness being on the same weekend. I feel like I've been screwed out of a drunk holiday.
He just kept yelling cup my balls to everyone they kicked us out after 20 min
I had lunch with him today and quietly mourned his wasted good looks on such a disappointing set of genitals.
Shame?!? Shame only comes from getting naked in front of strangers and it not being awesome
i wish i could tell my students that all of their lessons plans were brought to them by captain morgan and diet coke. it's like seasame street, only for high schoolers being taught by a student teacher.
Just FYI....you totally yelled out Royals while we were having sex last night lol.
I don't want his dick, I want his flame thrower!!
Twas still the Saturday before Christmas \nAnd it’s still fucking snowing\nAnd Steve wished he slowed down \nOn all the fucking drinking
She told me to take deeps breaths and I said I said YOU FUCKING TAKE A BREATH CAROL IM SURE IF YOU WERE IN MY POSITION YOU WOULD HAVE OFFED YOURSELF ALREADY and she said my name is Becky 😂
He gave me a back massage while we were fucking.
Did you get that?
WHILE WE WERE FUCKING.
im on a boat
How did you get this number?
It's all fun and games until your mom recognizes your bootycall from 2018 as her attorney
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