and when i put it inside her she yelled "welcome aboard!"
So I'm cool with the whole break up, but it sure is a shame we didn't get to use those handcuffs.
i just watched kanye west and taylor swift have a chugging contest. why cant halloween be every day
WISH UPON A TAMPON
They constantly get farther than me.
tampons.
I have only been in this city 3 nights and there are already 4 bars I can never go back to again.
I think she's a little more wasted than usual. She just crawled on the floor to tell mom it was time to take a shot.
so some random man just messaged me on facebook "tig ol bitties" should i be concerned?
Is it rude if I ask the current tenets of our future apartment if I can come and blackout for a night? I want stupendously drunk me to get a feel for the place so he's comfortable when we move in.
I fucked a 6'7 Danish man. In the ocean. At 5am. Greetings from Florida!
He knew exactly who I'd slept with after just one look at my crotch. He's like the Sherlock Holmes of cocks.
What color suit is the proper "i banged the bride" attire?
I asked for a steak knife but the waitress could see in my eyes it was a bad idea
That is NOT what pussyfooting around means. Try that again with your toe and I break it off.
Waxing your own asshole is awkward and difficult at best.
If I don't get alcohol poisoning from tonight I don't think i ever will.
Randomize
