Of course im so fucked up sarah. I fight away tornadoes.
no, its his 'welcome back from rehab' party.
I used to not like fucking fat girls but with her gut clapping against her boobs, its like a standing ovation ever time.
its not you its me. and by that i mean i am more interested in having random one night stands with random hot girls then having the same normal sex with u.
i should probably stop thinking with my vagina, and start using that $70, 000 education i can't afford. what the fuck.
where are you?
talk to ya later, gotta sled down these stairs real quick
Poking every semi-decent guy on Facebook in the hopes that one of them will want to hook up with me tonight. So far all i've accomplished is 5 new poke wars which i will most certainly continue after this weekend.
I woke up wearing a headband made of condoms. It was supposed to be a crown for the "prettiest fag hag" award I won last night. There is lube in my hair. I'm going back to sleep
My bank account got hacked so he showed up with a 6 pack wearing a superman cape to cheer me up and you question why I love him?
Tried to put an eye patch on while hooking up with a girl. She was not amused.
oh my god you are days, if not hours away from a dick pic. This is the day the lord has made rejoice and be glad in it
I had sex with him in the back of my car in a duck onesie. I'm worth something dammit.
You know you hit Mardi Grad bottom when you come to in someone's kitchen on the floor and you are eating gumbo out of a Mixing bowl with a ladle......yeah rock fucking bottom
Just let me suck your dick and be happy. Let me have this.
My one night stand ended up seeing me the next morning... For my interview. Guess who got a job.
Randomize
