This is random, but did i give u a handjob in the middle of the night or was that a dream?
for future reference: playing drunken strip-twister is a euphemism for a threesome. just thought you should know.
In less than 3 minutes we had 3 security guards running after us
I feel a bullet train of disappointment headed in your direction.
he does have a point though, watching you drink makes me never want to drink again
Wait..I think something else did happen last night my vagina is too pleased for this level of hangover..
It's like a squid of pain has attached to my head and it spreading it's whorey tentacles all over.
Got stoned and went to Walmart. For some reason a preacher walked up and asked if I knew the lord so I just yelled "I CAN FEEL HIM IN MY VIENS" at the top of my lungs. he left after that.
Well we had to pull over on a side street in town so I could throw up while moms were driving by with car loads of kids, I feel like I just performed a lil silent AA film for the childrens
I'm happy I peed in your laundry basket last night
All I want is some guy to eat me out while I work on grad school things then go on his way
We need some Captain and Fanta. That shit will change your life. Sidenote, bring an IV drip to hook me to in the morning
Pretty sure keeping my vibrator in the same drawer with the weed makes it work better. I fall asleep almost immedi
It was the scariest thing ever having a flame that close to my balls...
only 4 hours until nug lovin time
excuse me?
nug lovin. lovin nugs.
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