You make homosexuality sound like a cult.
he left me a 6 minute video of him peeling a clementine listening to justin bieber
throwing up turkey will be a nice break from throwing up ramen
she was puking red wine out the car window, telling me about how shes joining weight watchers tomorrow, not okay.
his blanket is still in the back seat of my car, its like a constant reminder of his small penis
I'll have you know that I'm still picking duct tape residue off my wrist from sunday
And the horses in Central Park have blankets. And Rafiki just told me "it is time" in the back of our cab.
THE ALMIGHTY HAS FALLEN DRUNKENLY OFF HIS HIGH HORSE AND INTO HOLLY'S VAGINA
Your stories are the best. I feel like you're a spy among the heteros. It's not fair.
ugh... fuck pirate breakfast. my head is like thirsty.
A baby just tried to pull out his mom's huge tits at work today and nearly succeeded. I was silently cheering for the little guy.
The walk of shame is a lot easier when I'm at a music festival and it's 12 feet from his tent to my tent
You are living the dream.
Don't be alarmed by all the Dick cakes in the fridge. But please don't eat..i accidentally broke one in half you guys can eat that one. Its labeled free Dick
Broke my ankle and blacked out on my scooter last night. 'Twas grand.
Well, not only did I find out the Top Knight has roof access, I also let a guy I just met eat me out on the roof. Seems like a lot of wins if you ask me.
Randomize
