I think I won the penis lottery.
Should I hook up with a slut its your call
Yes. Wrap it. If you dont have a condom do it anyway. YOU ONLY LIVE ONCE.
Just downloaded the entire Justin Bieber album sober.. I think you know how I'm doing.
The Firefighter Games are going to be in Tampa the same weekend I am. I think God is answering my vagina's prayers.
She had the hiccups when she was giving me head. It was actually pretty awesome
Is it mean that I just sent him a pic of my tits with the header, "say bye bye?"
and honestly how many chances will you get to hook up with a one armed guy?
work has become about six times more interesting since i started fucking my boss.
Well after last night I am convinced he is real life Tyler Durden. He only exists to me and somehow keeps me out of jail this entire time
I will take a blow job from a dude that kinda looks like a girl at this point
It's like god made him fantastic at oral to make up for what his mouth does the rest of the time.
Also, nothing screams "don't talk to me because I'm unstable" like walking around eating cookie dough out of the package.
I'm sorry I tried to stab you. I just really wanted those mozerella sticks.
Mike Pence got the fuck boy eyes though
He wrote his entire dissertation last night. I can only imagine the frightening amount of headway he would make if he ever did things sober.
Randomize
