We are so in love
so when's the next time you get to see your balls
so i was just informed that i sang that song "pop that pussy ayyy pop that pussy" at the halloween party saturday. iembarrassing.
Wow. Thanks for becoming another fan of something on Facebook. You make me want to gouge my eyes out.
Do you think drinking vodka, rum and sourpuss out of a water bottle, in a class that isn't even mine rude?
it doesn't matter, he's just a life support system for his dick
So I'm thinking about sending him some "sorry I almost peed on your computer" cookies. Thoughts?
Dude. My cat just tried to bat the tampon string hanging from body. NOT COOL, SEYMOUR. NOT COOL.
That's the only way to get approved without a guarantor.
WHAT DOES THAT MEAN WHAT FUCKING LANGUAGE ARE YOU SPEAKING
Hatred of squirrels is the least of my hereditary problems.
I asked you for a cigarette and you handed me your phone and told me to search for one
I woke up in some kids room and he introduced me to his friends at breakfast as "Monica" so I just went with it.
I woke up in an ill fitting childs tutu this morning and the shower curtain is knocked down. Wtf happened?
Remind me to do laundry tomorrow so i have something decent to take off when i get laid.
I was like ahh were on two different pages, I know there's rumors of me moving to boston but I can't and I'm not adding long distance to the relationship I have with my 31 year old recently divorced ex boss
I'm basically doing the Walk of Shame without the added bonus of having sex last night. That doesn't look good on anyone.
Randomize
