well thats why i like him. because he makes you happy. on the other hand i think he masturbates too much while texting you.
i upgraded from drunk texts to drunk e-mails...real world here i come
you kept begging me not to tell anyone you had been a bat in another life
dude i just made a burrito by wrapping 2 packs of scooby snacks with a fruit roll up. im so high
sorry I didn't call you. I had your number saved as "girl that offered bj but didn't follow thru".
she said her black crocs were her 'dress up crocs'
Ironically her ferret's toys look like her sex toys.....this is a whole new level of kinky for me
..She then engaged in what she called an "interpretive pole dance"
You are softly singing to the wall while slow dancing with it. I feel as though you should discontinue this behavior.
If it looks really sketchy and smells like burnt pizza and pot you're in the right place
The shit I just took made me regret every life decision leading up to it.
Haha, I gave you the rest of the cash I had on me and you bought 3 shots for yourself and beer for everybody except me FUCKFACE.
why do all the dudes in this porno look like billy ray cyrus
all I'm saying is that my epic blow jobs have made grown professional football players cry in ecstasy
Hi I'm on my way to give you multiple screaming orgasms and Easter candy
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