She told me she was a cowboys fan... I told her it was a waste of a perfect set of tits
I smelled my fingers after she left and they smelt like sugar cookies. I want that one again.
we are cloud gazing and there is one that looks like a giant baby riding a dolphin and smoking a joint
i wish there was a reasonable explanation for why this reminds me of you
You better be coming back...your date is passed out in a shrub in my backyard and I'm pretty sure her shirt is on my kitchen floor
i ordered a pipe on amazon, and under recommended items, it gave me a top hat. it knows me better than my parents.
If you hook up with a kid and the next day he breaks up with his girlfriend, those can be seen as two completely unrelated incidents right?!
Now I'm heckling that my belch is more exciting than their fireworks and I peed down the driveway.
I saw a guy do a line this morning in line to start the 5k, happy thanksgiving!
He called me skinny, I broke his garbage disposal, then denied him sex. Normal second date etiquette.
Napping in front of family members can be embarrassing when you get a christmas boner in your sleep
just passed my midterm while getting a blow job. i love going to school online
What exactly is it about Doctor Who thigh high socks with a matching shirt that says "take me I'm yours!"
First she snuck beer into the movies and then proceded to give me a handjob in the dark theatre. I think I'm in love
don't take offense to this but at the strip club tonight I legit believed one girl was you. almost hopped on stage and freaked out at you. you're a beauty.
well, i found him passed out on a picnic table two miles away with a lit cig in his hand...he had a rough night
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