Great date with Damon, but I'm not sure if telling him I like lesbian porn is a good second date discussion.
Last night I fell down in the street (I think in someone's vomit), cut my knee up, lost my moms necklace and my license, and had to walk back to the hotel.
bad decision 37: pregaming the antique store
i'm sitting pantsless eating potato chips and watching porn before he picks me up for our date. I hope he's ready for this...
I need someone to meet me at the end of the road and throw captain morgan at my face like they do with water at marathons
I want a grilled cheese and an IV
Cuz last time you told me I was going to be shocked about something you got a hand job from a stripper in canada
I am getting drunk. And i'm going to paint my face and slide down the stairs like Pochahontas. Goodbye
I sincerely hope you find your fuck buddy and have a wonderful night of champagne and whores
I spent the day drinking wine and meditating. I'm zen as fuck.
1. I'm excited for tonight 2. Do we dress up as pirates? 3. Happy Valentine's Day bae
It would be weird sobbing cry sex.
I just remembered that I insisted everyone watch porn together last night.
Come on in. I'm butt naked, in the kitchen, eating ice pops
I got so tired of my roommates fucking in the tub I took a shit in it. Surprise!
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