My grandpa is talking about laundry and he asked if i could run a "small hot load." Wow. I had to leave the room.
I cant go down on him yet. All ive had to eat is olives and percocet. semen would only add to tomorow mornings discomfort.
everyone made a circle around them and startd chanting fight fight. they wernt fighting, they were dry humping
they arrested me when i was peaking, i'm pretty sure they were specifically looking for me but i was too busy rolling around, loving the grass to notice the police car..
I am literally missing a chunk of eyelashes. That's how fun it was.
ok perfect im about to bedazzle our mini keg named hans. he is ready to rage
You wouldnt be able to explain the can of green beans in my mailbox, would you?
We now know how the night ended in arrest according to the flip camera I did 10 handle pulls and beer bonged a 40. My life choices are getting worse and worse this is your fault.
after all you did bang a few mechanics. you must have got some second hand skills by now for building us a go kart.
My brother didnt wanna sleep with her because she was my friend. Did I miss the memo where we're not supposed to be fucking each others friends? Oh well too late.
She just asked what would happen if you put a vacuum in your butt and turned it on. These are our conversations.
Much like Dre, I was forgotten about.
God specifically crafted these hands to deal out orgasms.
I watched a compilation video today of a guy banging his sex doll to edm music. I just had to tell someone.
THERE'S MORE TO LIFE THAN JUST MISSIONARY
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