I went to blockbuster, where I always go when I need to soul searching
Despondent, hopeless, I decide on vantage point, because I vaguely resemble matthew fox (let me believe this, please)
It was cheaper to buy then rent, so now I'm stuck w/ a wretched hangover and I own this shit movie
Pretty sure I only gave out my other # though. You know, 777 777-7777
Hahaha. So was it a Freudian slip, or wishful thinking? ;)
Could be either seeing as you're in my phone as "3rd bar" and I couldn't pick you outta a line up.
I just realize today that I've dated three guys this year with their own blog. Ugh that's embarrassing.
I slept with a married guy last night and then broke my toe on the doorframe on the way out. I've never seen karma work so fast.
There is a mirror in the headboard of the bed that I'm sleeping in so I can immediately question life choices when I wake up.
BTW. If I show up really drunk and dressed a cowboy, don't be alarmed
It's a gift. Kind of like morning wood in my brain.
My mouth feels like I've been chewing on leather and firecrackers for the past 3 days
That's exactly how my pussy feels when I shave it. Like a cross between a naked mole rat and a newborn child. Embrace it.
She straight up told me, "I don't care if he films as long as he's quiet." You sure you can't find the camera?
Okay I can't even be mad, I'm in mid-plot to hook up with Michael Phelp's third cousin.
He visits one Denver strip club and now hes moving there
I would say "man cannot subsist on sexting and brownies alone" but I think it's actually possible.
I just had sex with the male version of myself. looks, mindset, even our boob to dick ratio was the same
I'd kiss your neck and collarbone and then run my tongue up your neck to just behind your ear
And then lightly kick the curve inside your ear
Randomize