I DID IT WITH MY SOCKS ON!
You do realize it's a Tuesday, right?
You do realize I stopped giving a fuck about calendars when I was 10, right? And besides, it could be the best Tuesday of your life.
The water bill last month was outrageous. We have got to stop fucking for hours in the shower
I CAME AT YOU WITH RAW FEELING
you grabbed my dick through my pants and hissed at me.
You insisted on drinking champagne out of the dog bowl
The only way I could get him to agree to hook up with her is telling him I'd hook up with him next week.
Dong worry about me. I just cashed bottle of wine when I found out he was in town, I'm being dramatic. I'll text you tomorrow when I'm sober and my face stops bleeding
Tough to say exactly how to play this. I just know people don't like surprises when genitals are involved.
at one point he couldn't find his underwear so he put on my catsuit to go to the bathroom
So the night ended when we tried making fireworks out of gunpowder and oregano. You can figure out how that went.
Neat. I'm thinking about growing a handlebar muffstache. What are your thoughts on this?
I'm home alone for the next hour and a half, I expect soup and and a willing attitude to do drugs from one of or both of you girls.....annnnnd go
So the guy I hooked up with during welcome week just tried to booty call me from across the lecture hall at 9am. I don't think he gets how this works...
TELL HER ABOUT THE GODDAMNED MOTHERFUCKING POTATOES
I don't know why, but whenever I shave my balls I feel more aerodynamic.
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