Christians are straight up FREAKS
She has a t-rex face on a stuart little body.
She said she didn't have time to shave "there"
Then she shouldn't have had time to order the lobster.
I think you missed the wrong class. Im pretty sure we were taught how to buy cocaine.
You broke a window with your face. I don't think the landlord will be as impressed as we were.
and i'm pretty sure he drank the lava lamp
She may be a slut, but at least she's a dedicated slut. She's always super tan and has her shit shaved in really cool designs.
She drove all the way from Austin to have sex with me. I think it's a safe assumption my dick will have an easy life in college.
Because he's your one night stand I shouldn't feel obligated to extend social media to him
I love that my idea of a romantic gesture to you is to send you a picture of my vomit saying "wish you were here". You voluntarily dated me. For six years ish.
It's 4/20. I'm not too worried about "healthy"
Yeah and you keep saying "I know how to win America." While running away from us
I was drunk and on Craigslist.. The drunk-text offers people got must have been either horrifying or glorious
But he's super into Jesus and I'm the devil. So we weren't meant to be
I just had to explain my bite marks to my allergy doctor when she gave me my shots...You're the best <3
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