Bts the comment you were making during that picture was "look we have penises"
Guess what I'm doing tomorrow?
Becoming a productive member of society?
Sam. Come on.
Careful when you walk in I'm laying by the door.
He picked me up from the airport wearing nothing but a trench coat and a bow on his dick
I don't know how, but he made a bong out of a hamster wheel. To say I am impressed is an understatement.
He just told me he's been drinking vodka at work all day. I'm starting to believe in soul mates.
Lesson learned. Whipped cream will eat through a condom.
Last thing I remember is Dusty riding the bikes we "borrowed" from the hotel through the CVS while the rest of us picked up the girls who were laughing at him
And theres a reasonable expectation that if you're fighting over a pair of yoga pants on the ground at VS someones gonna videotape it
You played a drinking game to fat people crying. It's a long climb to the moral high ground, why bother?
Be proud. You give fat lesbians everywhere shower-nozzle worthy material for weeks on end.
On a better note: I'm on pace for 730 female produced orgasms in 2013.
woke up to a case of keystone on my porch when I went to bed at seven that morning.. I think it's someone's peace offering for getting my roommates car towed
I called you a cum goblin in my voicemail. I stand by it.
Unexpected pussy is the best kind. Never expected to get any from a stranger at my little brother's bar mitzvah.
Mazeltov!
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