You are the one person I know will appreciate this- and I'm aware that its nearly 5 am- but I have 3 words... G spot orgasm. BE JEALOUS
You know you are bi when you flip between the NFL Network and LOGO.
Tell me the dirtiest joke you know
Sarah Palin
god, I love you
i don't want you to think of me as your TA
then you gave the doctors and nurses bloody high fives
I just test ran being their maid. I'm getting 50 bucks a month and they're buying the costume.
He passed out. Woke up long enough to declare himself "the sauce boss" and then bit me in the face.
They sext over her pic comments. Role playing as wolves.
BTW. If I show up really drunk and dressed a cowboy, don't be alarmed
Look, the fact that I didn't kick him out and rip your clothes off speaks very highly of me.
I wasn't that drunk, I know my limits. When peeing became difficult I stopped taking shots.
There should be a company that sends nadgrams. They're like candy grams except the recipient gets kicked in the balls.
Something like that. Healthy diet of beer, ranch sunflower seeds and sex keeps me young.
stop falling asleep in the bathtub. you are not a movie star, you cannot die that way.
I'm still thinking about that amazing orgasm last night. I literally heard angels singing "Hallelujah!!"
Randomize
