i'm sick of taking my pants off and seeing a look of disappointment on the girls face. i want her to be frigthened
Just passed a sign for an "adult food and fuel superstore". Wtf does that even mean?
im not sure but a few things come to mind which just makes me giggle
Guys should not giggle. Ever.
How can she be afraid to give you a blowjob? It's not like your penis is going to turn on her and eat her.
I should just throw a hundred dollar bill into the wind and walk away... save myself the hangover.
Brought out my three foot martini glass last night, that explains why I haven't left my bed all day long.
I thought the one perk of the low caliber of men I've slept with thus far in my college career is that I would never run into them in the library. I've been here for ten minutes and we're on number three.
Holy shit, you lost your virginity on 11/11/11. Now every time someone fucks you, they can make a wish. Your vagina has officially been transformed into a wishing well.
But first time having sex and he went down on me twice?! I'm gonna marry this guy
I'll make sure to include that in my bridesmaid toast
I'd be 10x more excited if going out didn't require pants or the general giving of fucks
The last thing I remember is goading each other into a vodka-chugging competition.
What, so now you are his nutritionist and his fuck buddy?
I'm sure as hell not getting hoodwinked into going back to rehab again
Stop fucking Sharon's exes.
Sorry it took me so long to reply. I was fucking Sharon's ex.
have you ever tried to puke in an automatic flushing toilet? impossible
I'm literally about to create a tinder account. Just so someone drives me to get food.
Randomize
