Omg alex and i were cooking weiners on a campfire and a bear came and i am waayyy too high for this
Is it weird i consider You Sexy Thing our song?
all i know is i woke up with a braid in my hair and i vaguely remember a cab driver telling me he would give me $10,000 to get him a green card. and he would take me to turkey. and give me free cab rides. im never drinking on my medicine again. lol.
You kept buying everyone Washington apple shots, and telling us we needed to support local produce.
so. which one of us is going to pay for the neighbors new window? it cracked when i threw the bottle at it but smashed when you threw yours.
The meeting is at the same hotel we go to for sex. Avoiding eye contact with all the staff there.
I'm at the point in my life where I'm trying to get guys I've fucked to give a ride to guys I'm going to fuck.
I bruised my vagina when I was climbing out of the trash can.
Do you have any need for a scary clown mask?
Trying not to look at her chest is like trying to not hear a fire engine racing by.
I'm pretty sure the Jahovah's witness only came to our door because the front says "Twerk Or Treat"
You know Sunday Funday was a success when 'puke and rally' came at lunchtime on Monday.
Shriek
he told me he had a gf and in the very next sentence asked if I wanted to have sex.
he had a bulletproof vest and a pocket full of lollipops! how was i suppose to say no.
just woke up and had to check if i still had pants on, i really need to stop drinking
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