You are an awful beat friend I am goin to die in a car accident and then my corpse is going to be used by criminals ala weekend at bernies to rob a bank then my corpse will go to jail Thanks john Thanks for nuthin
id tell you what to do, but my morals dont exactly scream, "Listen to this guy!"
Canada is now making docos about life in America. Its called Trailer Park Boys.
What a tease, dude. She's giving me emotional blue balls.
she has over 3,000 tagged photos on facebook. dont tell me she isnt annoying.
I think I breastfed the cat at some point during the night, at least that's what my nipples are saying
Today has been the most awkward masturbatory day of my life. Possibly even more awkward than when my mom found my vibrator on Mother's Day.
Maybe it was silver. I don't know. I was drunk sifting through my dogs vomit.
The fool I made of myself at the Ugly Christmas Sweater party last night was surpassed this morning when I walk of shamed 6 miles at 7am with one mysterious wet leg and no pants on. I think my mom saw me and waved.
Girl I love you like I've been drinking all day
I'm not breaking up with him because his husky is having puppies.
Just walked in and got handed a drink. Good service
I woke up this morning and had to retrieve my clothes from the flagpole, they were using my boxers as a makeshift rally flag for drinking. Yeah last night was a success.
I'm literally trapped as the little spoon on a mattress on the floor of an unfinished basement with a professional athlete snoring in my hair
I put on a face mask and masturbated for an hour... my face now has a green tint
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